Entry #5 What I Want

well, as you can tell i've been avoiding this successfully for a few days...and today i'm doing a more difficult one for me because other than a few things i really have NO idea!!!

What I Want Personally

i'd love to find out why i had such a hard time motivating myself and i'd love to "fix" that so that in the future it wouldn't be so dang hard for me to get myself to do things that are not a necessity...kwim?

i want to be able to manage our money in such a way that i don't have to stress nearly as much about where it's going to come from...of course part of that means us having more money than we do now, but we'll get there ;)

i want to be better about drinking enough water each day and eatting better

i want to improve and then maintain my health rather than loose it later because i'm not doing what i should now

while i don't feel like i've lost who i am, i feel like i'm out of touch w/ who that person is...which is why i have a hard time knowing what i want...i'd like to get back in touch w/ that person

i want to learn toe side so i don't muff up my knees every time i try!

i want to be better about staying in touch with family and friends

i want to get my body into shape before i get perggers again and i want to be able to maintain that in the best way i can during and after pregnancy

i never want to be one of those women that "let herself go" after she got married or had kids

i want to find a mascara that i won't have an allergic reaction to

i want to get rich's school loans paid off as fast as we can w/o making the family suffer by pinching where we shouldn't

i want to get rid of my reliefe society arms

i want to go to hawaii

i want to go to ireland

i want to learn to cook from scratch better than i do now

i want to enjoy cooking again

i want to figure out beyond the superficial things i've listed so far what i really truly want

i want to have a housekeeper to help me keep more on top of the house so rich doesn't feel overwhelmed by being the one that helps me now

i want to be able to tutor and do demos because i feel like it, not because i need to

i want to know what i want when i'm asked...food, movie, resturant, etc

i want to be able to get a good night sleep so i don't stuggle to get out of bed the next day...

i want to find what i'm good at, not just what i'm ok at

i want to not feel as uncomfortable as i do in crowds on occasion

i want this process not to stress me out like it does

i want to learn to sew better than i do

i want to become skilled enough too use my knitting machine (yes i cheat) and make more than scarves

i want to learn how to better deal with my emotions and how to express what i feel and think

i want to be able to use some of the knowledge that i have to help others and my family

i want to not feel like crying because this process is so not my cup of tea

now i want to finish this because i'll admit i'm a baby and this is getting too hard

so until next time...maybe i'll figure something else out...

just as a side note

i am getting the large rectangular baking stone from pc i'm SO excited about it i'm stupid LOL

another side note, i really need to get back into a good groove of cooking, granted money to spend on whatever groce i wanted would help that as i wouldn't feel as limited as i do now...someday!

Entry #4 What I Want

ok, so it's been a few days since i've done this and i will admit that it's mostly because i've been avoiding it...this "activity" is actually quite uncomfortable to me and i am so not enjoying it...AT ALL

so today's topic is parenting...i hope i can make it through this one faster than the others i've done so far

What I Want in

Parenting

now while i know i am not a bad mommy i don't really feel like i'm a great or even good mommy, i want to be a better mommy

i want to engage with my children more than i do now

i want to be that mom where all the kids want to come to their house because they feel comfortable and loved there

i want rich and i to be a team and not undermind each other the way that we do all to often now (usually out of not knowing what the other said)

not that i want the envy of men, but i wouldn't mind being looked at by other moms and them thinking i've got it together rather than me always being the one looking at others wishing i could be a better mommy like them

i want to be better at getting what i want/need my kids to do w/ love and reason rather than yells and threatenings (which are currently the only thing that works sometimes)

i want to be able to give my kids wings as far as them knowing they are loved, having confidence in their worth, being good decision makers, etc

i want to not be so tired so my patience isn't worn thin and so that i can have the energy to be that mommy i want to be

i want my kids to always know they can come to me no matter what

i want to teach my children the gospel and bring them up strong in that

i want rich and i to be consistent

i want to get aj away from the tv (she's such an addict)

i want to make good food choices for my family and raise healthy eaters

i want to learn more about carseat safety and other things of that nature so i can do all in my power to keep my kids safe

i want to have the knowledge and strenght to talk to my children about strangers, good touch bad touch, and other things of that nature that i'll honestly admit i'm totally intimidated by right now

i want to make good education decisions for my family (w/ rich's help of course)

ok, i'm being asked to go play a game by aj so i need to go do that now...this is my list for now...not sure if i will revisit this or not...we shall see

Entry #3 What I want

Entry #3 What I want
today i will do another "easy" one and do marriage...so here goes
what I want: marriage
i want to be cherished by my husaband (which i am!)
i want to have that commitment that it takes to get you through the bad times (if you have them, and at some point in time we all do right?)
i want to always remember the blessings that are mine if i am worthy of them from our temple marriage
i want to be my husbands equal in all things
i want to feel like i'm part of a team (which i do most times)
i want to have the type of relationship where you can have a "conversation" w/o ever saying a word
i'll say it...i want to have an AMAZING physical relationship w/ my hubby (which we do imo!)
i want my husband to appreciate the things i do and over look the things i may not get done
i want help from him (which i get alot of!)
i want to be able to have quality one on one time w/ my sweet man
i want my hubby to recognize his greatness in being a husband and father
i want to be always be the woman my hubby envisions me to be (aka someday i'd love to see myself how he sees me)
i want to be one of those couples that still adores one another and holds hands when we're old
i want to always be one of the good things in my hubby's day
i want to go dancing so i can share something i love w/ my hubby
i want to have one of those relationships w/ my hubby that when ppl see us they just know we love each other because they can see it
i want us to be able to obtain our dreams family wise, financially, individually, etc
i want to always say "i love you" when we go to bed at night, kiss when we part, love each other despite any momentary dislike, basically just be crazy in love w/ one another always
i want to like and get along w/ my il's and have him do the same for my side (dang how we are lucky there!)
i want to never be looked down upon because i choose to be a wife and mother before i choose any profession outside the home
i want to always be loved by the sweet wonderful man i married
ok, umm so that wasn't as easy as i was expecting it to be...that took me like over an hour to come up with...i really feel i have a defect in being able to word what i think/feel LOL

Entry #2 What I want

so i've been challenged to write about one of the more difficult topics for me today...so today's topic will be

what do i want--fun wise

well, i like snowboarding, despite it's cost and my inability to go often, it's a blast when i do get to go (minus the ouchies from falling LOL)

i really enjoy going to color me mine, but it's expensive and i'm not good at it so it's kinda silly to have lots of poorly painted ceramics around don't ya think LOL ;-)

i used to enjoy reading, but i've not really read for the shear enjoyment of reading in quite some time...i know i like hp books (so anxiously awaiting book 7) and i like mysteries, but it's hard to find things anymore because i feel so out of the loop as far as liturature goes...i really need to go back to some old classics that i like i guess...i've been challenged by fil to go at least once a week to the library for 1.5 hrs and sit and read on a day when rich is home...we'll see how that goes as soon as i can start doing it

i used to enjoy cooking, but i've not really done that for years for various reasons, i'd like to at least get back into baking and such, but i don't need the sugar and fat LOL

i'm actually enjoying my powertone class and glad that i was talked into that, and can honestly say that when the summer comes and i can't take it anymore i'll be bummed

i enjoy giving things to other ppl and seeing the excitement/joy on their faces at what i've gotten them

ummm, i don't really feel like i'm doing very good at this, i think i may have to revisit this as i don't feel like i've really made any progress...

Assignment Entry #1

ok, so what do i want...ummm...good question...i have very few ideas for this other than some basics...well, i know what i want spiritutually so i guess i'll start there...it's the "easy" one

What I want Spiritually out of life:

i want to be intune w/ the spirit

i want to know my Savior Jesus Chirst and be a tool in his hands to help others

i want celstial glory primarily so i can be w/ my family forever, that whole being able to create my own world is a really nice bonus though ;)

i want to be an example to my children and to others in the gospel

i want to live up to my potential as a divine daughter of God

i want to be a spiritual equal to my husband

i want to be worthy of each and every blessing given to me

i want to be able to have the inspiration to help my family and others when it's needed

i want to be genuine and never hypocritial

i don't necessarily want to be known as a spiritual giant, but i do NOT want to be known as a spiritual mouse either...

i'd like to be wise, which i feel totally comes from the spirit, knowledge is great, but w/o the spirit all it is is a bunch of facts

while i don't want "powerful" callings in the church, should i ever be called to one i want to be spiritually able to take it on and all that comes w/ it

i want to be one of the 5 wise rather than the 5 foolish

i want to be able to be a blessing rather than a hinderance to others in my life

i want to be that example others may need to be willing to let the gospel into their life

i think that's not too shabby for my first night of doing this...but i'm not looking fwd to some of the others on the list...not at all, especially personal, fun, & hobby LOL

so while it's not broken it could use some improvements

our marriage is a pretty dang good one if you ask me...alas we both know it's not perfect and could use some improvements...so we decided to utilize fil's professional training and went to talk w/ him on sunday...we went over various things...turns out part of our problem is that while we're listening we're not REALLY listening...so we're needing to work on that...but he also gave us each assignments to work on until we next get together...my assignment is so not going to be easy for me...it is the following

What do I want out of life

-spiritually

-marriage

-parenting

-personal

-fun

-hobby

can i tell you i'm already struggling w/ this...i have no idea what I want...who am i to want anything besides superficial things LOL

because i like the meaning of it

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up againsta parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home..It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.