she and i went to the BYU student women's conference
(yes we're alum and not students LOL)
the theme was "doubt no, fear not" the key note speaker was Julie de vzevedo Hanks (apparently the signing time chick's sister) she made a wonderful point (quoted a 12, but don't recall which one) during her talk that perfection is not equal to flawless...perfect comes from the word telios and telos which basically translated is working twds an ultimate distant goal...so when we are told to be perfect we are to be activly working twds our ultimate goal of attaining the Celestial kingdom and the other things that will get us there...i love this...then we got to go to 2 break out sessions...we both went to "trust your heart: facing the future with confidence" presented by Karen Pool and then we split up for the 2nd and i went to "a workout for the family: strenghtening relationships in the home" presented by todd and debbie parker. both were quite good...
the big break through yesterday came after the conference was over while we were at Tisha's house and she was "sticking it to me" trying to get me to answer some of the questions presented in the 1st class we went to...gonna list what was presented and then i'll go from there
what have i learned about my heart?
what is the prupose of my life?
"Broader than roles & job titles, a life purpose statement reveals who you are & what gets you excited. it focuses on contribution; uses gifts & talents; is meaningful & enjoyable"
"my passion in life is to be a creative person -- whether what i am creating is my art or my family. creativity is central to the meaning of my life" -Anne Darby Parker, photographer
each of us carries a word in our heart--a "yes" or a "no"
"yes is a world
& in this world of
yes lives
(skillfully curled)
all worlds"
-e.e. cummings
the language of resistance
worry
doubt
control
judgement
negativity
scarcity
guilt
anxiety
i can't
i should
life's a struggle
it won't work
if only...
there's never enough...
but...
the language of possiblity
optimism
trust
integrity
commitment
prosperity
compassion
responsibility
i can; i will
i could
life's an adventure
i can learn
i'll figure it out
i want...
i promise...
what i like about myself is...
everything (an activity i'll list below)
"in unconscious regions of our souls, we fear our own sternght and tealnet and goodness [our light], which when developed fully, make us more visible, distinctive, powerufl, and more fully responsible to take on the things we now avoid." -Marsha Sinetar
when am i the most me? (this is the kicker right here)
"none of us can aspire to fulfillment through someone else. somewhere along the line of development, we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. make that decision for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your child's. the influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself." -Eleanor Roosevelt
"and i know, o Lord, that thou has all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in the darkness..." -Ether 3:4
more questions:
what "stones" or desires of my heart do i need to have touch by the finger of God?
what can i trust about my heart
what can God trust about my heart
ok, now for the notes i took from the class, activity, etc
we need to be something ourselves to be that wife/mother that we want to be because it will make us a better person, stronger and enable us to teach our children to be something themselves
the kicker question...when am i the most me...it was a painful realization that i had not a clue...no ideas whatsoever...and we'll come back to this in a moment
talent doesn't always equal passion
we need to keep asking ourselves questions then we need to think it, feel, it and write it down to help us grow, learn about ourselves, and help us progress to who we want to be
now for the activity...what i like about me is...everything...in this activity we had to for 90 seconds say "what i like about me is..." and put something in that phrase we liked about ourselves...if we couldn't think of anything immediately we had to say everything until we could come up w/ something...saying the phrase before each thing or each everything...this is my list
hair
eyes
skin
toes
singing voice
loyal
dependable
responsible
decently intelligent
decent mom
kids love me
i want to be that person dh sees me as
ppl can come to me because i am...
(can't read the word on the card and don't remember what i said here LOL)
everything (couldn't think of one)
pretty good with money
enjoy the outdoors
thankfully then our time was up LOL
2nd class the few notes i took there
together preisthood & womanhood are complete
relationships need to be a priority->build them
teach children life skills at home where they are comfortable, loved, & accepted
object lessons need to last visually and verbally...just think of Jesus Christ's object lessons they've lasted almost 2000 years so far
pride is essentially competitive, once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone
build relationships through service as a family
facilitator instead of authoritarian->what do you want to do->then help that child accomplish it to build their ability to use their agency as they should
punishment doesn't make you want to repent
"come unto me parenting"...1st teach...come to me & i'll help you be good until you can do it on your own
now for the stuff from Tisha's after the conference
the reason i've been struggling so much with "what i want" is that i don't think that way...i think "what do i want to achieve" when i come from that approach i can spout off things left and right...so it's just a matter of thinking "what do i want to achieve" rather than "what do i want"...which kinda boils down to the fact that i'm and action person...wanting something isn't really an action to me while achieving or working twds that goal obviously is an action
somethings i want to do
manage my time better
define time limits
bond more w/ my kids
get to know my girls better
pt riley (this one is far off, she's so not interested LOL)
read to my girls more
learn to snowboard better
get more quality time w/ rich (rather than just having quantity time)
stop being overwhelmed by the potential in my pb and start living up to it
go to the temple more
how i'm feeling about myself: i feel dull or diminished like i'm not progressing...like my windows are dirty and need a cleaning...BUT by time we were done talking and i went home, these were a little clearer and there is now light peaking through my windows!
how ppl see me
spiritual giant
organized
kind
gernerous
(there are others, just didn't list them)
how i see me
not spiritual giant, not a mouse either though
capable
fixer/doer
strong
inadequate at times
knowledgeable
obnoxious
determined
(there are others, just didn't list them)
ok, now here is where my break through happened...she kept pushing the "when am i the most me?" question from our 1st class
i NEED to dance (going to look into dance classes for rich and i to take together)
i NEED to sing (need to manage my sundays so possibly be able to attend choir practice)
and the biggest realization of the day
i miss theater terribly and NEED to get back into it, be it attending or performing (more performing than attending, but attending will definately help!)
so my homework from Tisha:
call the local theaters, find out if they have a storeybook theater troup and what shows they have try outs coming up for
i'm calling tomorrow!!!
my last comment about all of the above (an it's not right because i can't remember how i said it yesterday as it was perfect then, but this is pretty close)
don't waste who you are now while you are trying to achieve who you are going to become
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