ok, so i must admit

that the lack of comments is slightly depressing...but maybe that's a good thing...maybe that means my blog is "hidden" and therefore i can say what i want to say and just get it all out...like a journal, but sadly not on paper...so maybe i should just do it on paper, but it's faster for me to type...strange i know, but my handwritin is soo freaking poor that sometimes i don't even know what i wrote! LOL any whoo...i need to get off the comp now and do something else...not sure what...but something else...i've got to work for 4 hrs today later so that will be pleanty of time to be online.

well...upon reevaluation....

I have decided that the poetry is way too depressing and I will be way more selective of what I put on here from now on if any at all!!! Dang I'm glad that like 98% of that stuff was based on other ppls problems!!! Although I will admit that the tears one is me...and I still have a hard time sucumbing to such a display! I'm much better at being the rock ppl lean on for support than being the one that needs support...

The Swan

The swan moves smoothly across the placid water
Then an arrow, cutting through the air, pierces through her heart
She fights what is happening
But in the end she sinks to the bottom of the now agitated water
...and once again it becomes calm
As though the swan was never there
Who will miss the swan?

The Dream

Last night I dreamt a dream

Upon which I woke with a smile

That smile became imprinted

On my heart and caused

A smile o spread across

My face and a rush of

Giddiness through my

body countless times

That day...all I know

Is that if it were to be true

The smile would not be a flash

But an ever present element

And that giddiness would

More than likely be unquenchable

WOW...I sound like one messed up teen chick!!!

HOLY! I just finished inputting the first 3 pages of my "poetry book" and wow...do I sound like one love tortured girl...the funny thing is...I wrote almost ALL of my poetry based on other ppls experiences that I'd over hear...how weird is that!!!

Tears

Every time I think of what's happening
I almost break down in tears

I'm stronger than that
I continually tell myself
And I will not sucumb to that petty human reaction to sorrow and pain

I will lock it up inside
Where it can never be reached
By anyone except me

When I lock sometehing up it stays that way
For if I ever touched the door to release even one
They would all cave in on me
And I would never be able to get out alive

The heart that bleeds

The heart that bleeds
Bleeds for you

The one who tossed my heart away
And didn't even care to see where it landed

Why is it not seen how you hurt me so
Why is it you don't care

How can you not care
When I will always love you

Passion

The passion that once burned inside my heart
Is now a great abyss of pain
For your dismissal of my heart

Dibjuos del Corazon

...feel safer than I ever have before
To hear his heart beat
To hear his calm breath going in and out of his chest
Why did he have to leave me here
Crying and not even know what he had done
To my heart

It's just not fair that this happened to me
If he would only come back and lift me from my despair
How could he not see that I loved him so

every time he walked into a room where I was
I would light up and how could he not feel
The energy of love that passed from my heart into him
With every touch

I just don't understand
All I could say to him if I saw him again would be
Please love me!
I need you more than you could ever know or understand
PLEASE, PLEASE LOVE ME!

My Heart

My heart pumps blood through my arms

My ear hears the beat

My stomach practically jumps with the

pressure of the crimson life flowing through it's

blood vessels

It keeps it's path

As continuous and steady as it can

I can not say that much for myself

Though I wish I could

Possibility of Rhyme

The sky is cold, dark, and grey

Its merciless down pour of pain in the form of ice and snow

Because of its despise of this night

I am forced to miss possibilities for my life that could be happening

Then again a possibility may be occurring right here, right now

Without my knowledge

This possibility for myself could be life

Life is a wonderful choice

If I did travel on, what would happen

To the possibilities of a marriage to the man I love for time and all eternity

And the family that we would lovingly create together.

I think I like the possibilities of saying here

To obtain my eternal husband and my eternal children

Each and everyone

The Place I wished to be

I fantasized about being held in his arms

Tightly, ever so tightly

So as I can hear his breath and his heart beating lightly

In his arms I feel safe from all harm

But now he is gone

Like a bird in flight

So my fantasy must never come true

or at least be postponed for awhile

Until these times

I will try ever so hard to forget

My minds sweet, loving dance

And go on with the rest of the worlds painful ways

Never to be held in his arms,

To hear his breath, and his heart beat lightly

A River Runs Through My Head

A River Runs through my head

As the ocean crashes on the shore

And the sands of time slip quickly and yet slowly through my fingers

The wind is gentle

The Sun is strong

But the essence of the Son of the Father is all that matters

FORGET ME NOT

DO NOT DENY ME

He pleads to the world

You Fill My Soul

You fill my soul with singing

Louder than I have ever heard it sing before

My heart sings in harmony with my soul

And belts its part out good and strong

The song that they sing together is a song to fill my being

A song that tells it's pastoral story of love true love

The Abyss of Boredom or Whisperings of the Heart

Of you I dream when I am wide awake

Your beautiful smile slaps me alive
and your Laugh makes my heart do a jig

Your name makes me smile all over
as your voice courses through my veins

I bite my lip to keep from letting my thoughts race to my mouth

My hands can hardly wait to hold yours,
my arms to embrace your structure,
my heart your soul

they say that love can be said in
any language, but I need
only one

And yet I don't need words to make me happy

All I need is your presence, my split-apart
to be come one

You in your world, I in mine, but
always overlapping in our own

Dibujos del Corazon

So, I've been contemplating this for sometime...Today I finally decided to just do it! (Do I sound like a Nike ad?) Here I've decided to post my poems (that I don't really write much anymore, but it would be fun to have a place where they can be read if one so desired quick access) and whatever else I may come up with! So let the drawings of my heart begin!!!