"blast" from the past

the other day, i found my current and pretty much rarely used journal

i thought it would be fun to see what was going on at the begining of said journal

so read i did and i realized something...

i used to be WAY deeper of a person than i am now LOL

granted now i'm lucky if i have time to think about anything, but i'm definately nowhere as deep

as i once was

i was somewhat blind at the time too though...i was so "in love" w/ the last guy i dated in college...i look back that whole time in my life, and while i'm greatful for what i learned (because if we don't learn something from our experiences what was the point of going through it right?) man i was stupid and i wish i'd not allowed myself to dwell on it as i did...deep down i knew it then as i do now...i would NOT have been happy married to that guy, at least not as happy as i deserve to be and most definately now am...dang i'm one lucky chick...i got an awesome, devoted husband who also happens to be an amazing father...the other guy...let's just say i would've had another kid to take care of among other verious other quirks...i totally wish this guy happiness, which he won't gain until he grows up and becomes quite abit less selfish...i had to giggle when i was reading and said what my dad said about it at the time...he totally thought the guy was a total chicken and of course not worthy of his daughter LOL my mom wanted me to move on, which was hard to do...especially when i'd brought myself to the realization that he wasn't going to marry me, but i was so close to leaving what was the point of even trying to date anyone else...why not just date him until i left...he of course changed that, although we still did things together on occasion and when i'd come back to the state we'd get together and visit...we were really good friends until i got engaged and then

BAM

he dropped off the face of the planet

funny how that works sometimes...i had another friend that did the exact same thing, but in hindsight i kinda think he was in love w/ me...but how the heck was i supposed to know that...he gave me NO indicators of such, at least not that i picked up on...granted i'm kinda dense when it comes to that kind of stuff so he very well may have been LOL

i remember at various points prior to meeting, falling madly in love with, and marrying the amazing man that i'm married to now that i've had several guys in my life that i could've married, but i would've had varying degrees of happiness w/ each...would've been good marriages and loving and such, but each definately would've been different and none could compare (at least not imo) to what i've got now!

sure my hubby is a stinker on occasion, but those are so far and few inbtwn that they can be passed over as naught, because we all know that i'm so not an angle...not an easy person to live with i'd readily admit, but i'm much better than i used to be ;)

bang head here

if you have children you know exactly how i'm feeling right now...

neither of my kids went to bed when they were supposed to lastnight, needless to say not

getting the amount of sleep that they need so today

BEAST

that is what they both are and it's driving me nuts!

just thought you'd like to know

"I know a chicken..."

if you have kids you know EXACTLY that i'm refering to LOL

and to top it off, it's been going through my head almost all day along w/ shakin' down the sugar by laurie berkner' songs

if's funny how the things we play for our kids totally get stuck in our minds and WE START TO LIKE THEM

here i was working on somethings at the computer while #1 danced to the music and i totally found myself jammin' right along!

let's analyze this for a moment

it's got a catchy beat

most songs are quite jazzy

the lyrics are clean, easy, and fun

so what's not to like?!!!

ok, so i will now confess i'm off to listen to some more, yes my children are asleep and have been so for several hours, but i obviously need a fix LOL

today is the day...

wow, it really happened...

i knew it would, but still it was kinda surreal ya know...

the il's left this morn for copehnagen denmark for the next 3 years and we are the sole residence of this freaking HUGE house!

i'm seriously going to have to hire a cleaning lady to come in once a month and do deep cleaing or i'm never going to be able to stay on top of this house...not the way my girls DESTROY everything...seriously if i took a picture w/ a digital camera, looked at it and then deleted it immediately, it would still last longer than it would irl LOL

on a different note, i finished the womens business grant application today, tomorrow it goes into the mail...if i could get the requested amount it would really make some of the finances easier...and we all know how i like easier, especially when it comes to money right?

now if i could JUST get the business plan done and turned in all would be lovely and grand

can any one say

STOP THE INSANITY!!!

it's really all good, i'm just feeling the pressure to get all this business stuff completed and perfected by the 29th of the month, preferrably sooner...

i've really accomplished alot...oh crap, i need to type all that up...grrr

well, i guess there went my 10:30 in bed lights off time...

we've got another meeting tomorrow morn w/ the small business advisor and i still didn't get done everything i wanted to, but i can't kick myself because i really have done alot

well, so as to not miss my goal bed time by too much i'm off to do that

just one of THOSE days...

crabby, that would be a great word to describe my mood at the moment

i'm bordering on exhaustion and #1 decides that today is the day she REALLY doesn't want to listen...driving me batty

i'm trying to keep it together because it's not her fault i'm not getting the sleep i need

and i must be insane as well because i told sil she could bring her 2 over and i'd watch them until 5 ish...hopefully earlier than that, but i'm betting on later...which now having her cousine here means that #1 will listen that muchless...oh well, at least i know it's going to happen and thank heavens for max and ruby...that ought to occupy them for at least a little while...

Market research...PLEASE participate!!!

what types of greeting cards do you want to see when you go to a store/card section/website?

what price range to you expect to see and consider a value on cards?

would you special order personalized greeting cards if you could for a little more than just buying a pre-made one and if so how much more would you expect to pay?

does it have any impact on you when you see a meme/logo (embossed or stamped) of the card company on the envelope flap when someone gives you a card, if so why?

if you had the choice of buying from a company that was about the same or a little less or a company that 10% of your purchase price went to a charity of your choice (from an established list; ie pediatric aids, komen, habitat, etc) which would you go with?

if you went with the site that donated to charity, what charities would you like to choose from?

would you purchase cards that were printed on recycled paper if you found a line that was appealing, even if it was a few cents more expensive than 1st time consumer product?

would you find a card site that was similar to jk rowlings site annoying, cool, fun, complicated, etc? ( http://www.jkrowling.com/en/thankyou.cfm or http://www.tacobell.com)

if an "occasions" box was offered, what type of occassions would you want to see in the box (ie wedding, birthday, sympathy, etc)?

if the site offered a service where you could create your own card, one or multiples, and then personalize it and send it...possibly including a gift card, gift basket, gormet popcorn, etc...would you be interested in that and if so how much would you expect to pay for these cards?

simply stunning!!!

http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1

wow...it's getting really close!!!

internet has been transfered into my name as of the 1st of june

gas is set up to be transfered into my name on july 2nd as is the electricity

the security system contact phone number has been set up to change to our number and the account noted that we'll be the ones in the house for the next 3 years...

it's crazy that it's all starting to fall into place

exciting, but still crazy...it's not like i've not known this was going to happen, it's been pretty much slated out since we moved in here last year...but still, it just always seemed so far away and more like some distant memory rather than a reality...kwim?

this month is full of all kinds of little and big things going on...it will be interesting to see exactly how fast it all goes...speaking of, i need to go make an invitation for our sunday school class...all the kids remembered to bring their scriptures for a month so we're rewarding them w/ a pizza party

yes i know it's bribery, but i'm not above that...are you?

tired, crabby, stressed, and in pain

tired--as always

crabby--sadly at times goes along w/ being perpetually tired

stressed--money is thin and my tutoring is lessening because it's getting to the summer for most kids

in pain--not sure what i did but man my lower back (nerve damage area) is really hurting today!!!

beyond these lovely things, all is going quite well if you ask...

dh and i are going to start a greeting cards business,

well...at least that is the plan

sadly his schedule this last month and this coming month do not allow him to attend church

that always is a hard thing for him and me as i get to go it alone...

i have 6 days until my check up on my broken foot when they will hopefully tell me that i'm

all good and can stop wearing the walking cast

then i'll be able to wear heels out of fashion and desire rather than necessity

the girls are getting bigger all the time, we're spending more time outside so their hair is

lightening up quite a bit, still don't think they'll ever be platinum like i was when i was their age, but it's definately lighter than it was

i'm going to be "brave" and lemon my hair so that i can get mine a little lighter

it's gotten darker w/ each pregnancy and i'm really not in love w/ the color

but we all know i'm just way too lazy to do anything chemical about it...lemon i figure is

just accelerating the sun so it wont' be a big deal and i won't be hard to maintain if i decide to...

tutoring is of course getting slower, as it's the end of the year for most, but seriously

some kids get super summer crazy and do very silly things

last week i had a kid log in seriously like 20 times that did not need help at all

it drove me bonkers!!!

it is finished!

last night was the final show for the cruise of love!!!
it's one of those bitter sweet things, i'm glad it's over because it's really stretched me thin with everthing else i've had going on, but i'm totally going to miss it because i got adult interaction/conversation and got to do something i love...
oh, i was paid a very nice complement imo after saturday night's performance...a middle aged gentleman on his way out said i should come to the hale and try out there and that i could've been his daughter in beauty & the beast...i'm assuming for his age and appearance he's playing maurice...how freaking awesome would it have been to play belle since b&b is in my top 5 shows and that is the character i'd want to play...oh soaking in the compliment LOL
i'm not sure if i'd want to do hale unless i got one of their paid parts because it's such a time commitment that it would take even more of my time than this play did and this one was hard enough, juggling the kids, work, and time with rich when he was home...probably just going to stick to vcp unless hale has auditions open up for another of my top 5's which probably won't happen because i don't see them doing my fair lady, into the woods, the wizard of oz, or phantom of the opera anytime soon LOL...i don't want much do i ;)
i think as our kids get older i'll try and do more stuff like this depending what they've got going on so that i can have my hobby too...oh, and lastnight, joseph (bruce in the play) told me that i should become one of vcp's directors...the thought is actually kind of appealing, but i'm not sure if i'm ready to bite that off just yet...if i've seen it i can work with it and finess it, but i don't know if i could visualize all of it on my own to tweak what was in the script...it's something to kick around though!

only 3 more to go

fri, sat, and mon and then this run of the show i'm in is done and i will be going on hiatus until august when the auditions for the halloween shows comes up...so much craziness going on in the next few months that that is not one of the things i want to add on top of it...and there really aren't any shows i'm super interested in until the halloween show to be in, see yes, be in no...

my foot is doing better than i expected it to, have to wear my walking cast for 4 wks, then depending how my check up goes i either have to wear it 2 more or i can stop wearing it...i'm hoping for the 2nd obviously LOL

movers are coming on monday to pack up and take away the 1st shippment of stuff that is going to denmark for my il's...basically the stuff they won't NEED btwn now and when they get there...and then next month on the 20th i think they'll come and pack up all the stuff that is going to be stored and put it in the two rooms designated for storage so the house will be fairly empty and then what little we have will be moving up stairs...it will be interesting to see what it all looks like...the furniture is staying of course, but all the "fluff" is going to be gone...fil asked me what things i wanted them to pack up and store...i told him if they'd feel bad if it got broken or damaged it needed to be put away LOL...not that i plan on letting my children run wild, but things do happen...

OH, dh asked #1 and #2 this morning if they wanted a baby bro or baby sister, they both said yes...hello, i just told him 2 nights ago i don't want to get preg until oct so i can do the halloween shows!!! LOL i think it was really one if his was to start getting comfy w/ the idea of another, he's been really anti for awhile...he wants more, but wasn't sure when he wanted more...#2 hasn't been as easy as #1 was...so it will be interesting how things play out...i still of course have the iud (which i'm in LOVE w/ btw) and would have to get that removed before things went anywhere in that dept...but i will admit that it's nice to know that he's thinking about it as a probable rather than a maybe...kwim?

i am now the "proud" new owner of...

a broken foot

i broke it tonight w/in the first 5 min of the last act of the play...at least it was the last act and not the 1st right?

we have 5 more shows to do and i have every intention of doing it, just may take a little extra finess working all the scenes on crutches, i'm hoping maybe i can swap for a cane, that would be much easier to work with...

thankfully i only have an accessory that i carry (clip board) and the only once to i really pick anything up, which i can easily direct another on staged to do for me...

well, it's 1:30 in the morning, i got home from the er about 30 min ago, and my children will be getting up in...oh...5 to 5:30 hrs so i'd better get me and my stinking broken foot to bed

i did make it to 29 w/o having a broken bone, well, other than a toe i broke a few years back, but there isn't much you can do about a toe LOL

so, i'll admit it...

i'm in LOVE w/ a private adoption agency!!!

http://www.westsandsadoption.org/index.php

i made the mistake of looking at their videos...man now i want to go out and get me a baby from china, haiti, and/or ethipoia!!!

update on being blind sided

turns out it was almost nothing, in 2 sessions i failed to engage the way i normally do, but the sessions were not like the ones i normally do (diff type of question) so that is to be modified but a couple days later i got my promo from tutor 2 to tutor 3!!!

6 more shows

i'm 2/3 of the way done w/ the run of the play i'm currently in...it's been an interesting ride but things are pretty well going now as far as the play itself...it's still a pain managing child care and such but the boys in my sunday school class rock and are all very surprised that they're getting paid to basically watch tv, movies, or do homework while my kids sleep LOL

it's kinda sillly the guy i play opposit and another cast member that is younger (he's 38 she's 21) the age difference shouldn't be an issue, things were going ok btwn them (somehow i became matchmaker communicator btwn them...so jr high LOL) but he's really not pulling his wt in the world of friendship (that's all they are currently and in jeapordy of loosing that as it is) he just doesn't get that a girl, be she a friend or more than that, deserves more than last minute consideration and she shouldn't have to put all the effort into it...this is why he is 38 and not married LOL...speaking of him, his family came to the show saturday night and they all picked at him later to see if i was single...he knew it was coming, i told him he should've told them he was playing opposit a married chick but he didn't so he deserves the digs he got right LOL

i'm excited about the show i want to do this fall...they're running 2 shows at the same time for halloween, hotel frankenstein and shadowbrook mansion, both have a vampress type character and i really hope to snag one of those spots, but i'll be on hiatus until the auditions for those because of all the transitions that are going to be going on w/ the il's getting ready to leave for denmark and us moving upstairs and such...that and i've been running myself ragged so i need to take some time to recoup physically...it's been several weeks since i've exercised and i really need to start that back up again, but i'm just now starting to feel good enough to even start it up again...not sure what i'll be doing, but i've got to do something...i really want to get my body back into really good shape before we start for another addition to the family (supposedly next feb...but we'll see on the timing could be sooner, could be later)

well, there is a MOUNTAIN of laundry that needs to be folded so off i go

the doggy trial run

so the il's went to hawaii last thursday to do some family related stuff (no not a vacation but they are getting in some fun things while they're there) so i've obviously had buster since then...lo and behold the dog apparently swallowed a chunk of his rawhide bone the night before he left, i did not find this out from them until friday or saturday!!! buster vomited on the floor mutliple times, on the couch and leather chair once, AND pooped on the floor like 5 or 6 times!!!

can we all say that i am so NOT happy about these things?!!!

on sat morn i cut a HUGE matted clump of poo out of his bum hair (yes, i was gagging...funny how when you get paid for something like that you don't gag, but when you're not you do LOL) but his bum hairs were just NASTY and i pretty much refused to give him a bath and deal w/ it, so yesterday (monday) i took him to a groomers and had a sanitary patch done, his nails clipped, and they also cut out some other poopy mats (smaller than the one i did on saturday) it cost me $20 but it was so totally worth it to not have to look at that and have it drop icky things on the carpet for 5 more days until my il's come home and take care of it...

even better though is that since he got cleaned up he's finally started acting normal (the rawhide really caused problems and he was depressed that they were gone) so now he's pretty happy again and seems to finally have stopped pooing on the floor, i've not had to clean any of that up since yesterday morning...although, in hindsight, i should've spent the extra 12- 14 $ and had a regular groom job done on him because he's still kinda stinky

please watch these if you love any child in your life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4xhLYXtnsE&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRP7ynNI8mI&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPt5_02IWsY&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVfqFhseo&mode=related&search=

if they don't show up...let me know because there is VERY important carseat info in these clips!!!

if nothing else a cool piece of fiction!!!

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent and the princip al, she took all of the deks out of the classroom.

The students came into first period and discovered there were no desks.

They looked around and asked, "Ms. Cothren, where are our desks?"

She replied, "You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn them."

They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."

"No," she answered.

"Maybe it's our behavior."

She told them, "No, it's not your behavior."

And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing and third period-no desks. By early afternoon, television news crews had gathered in M s. Cothren's class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out ofthe classroom. The last period of the day, Martha Cothren gathered her class. They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room.

She stated to her students, "Throughout the day no one has really underst! oo how you earn the desks that ordinarily sit in this classroom."

She added, "Now I'm going to show you."

Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it. 27 U.S. veterans, wearing their uniforms walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the walls.

By the time they had finished placing those desks, those kids for the first time understood how they earned those desks. FREEDOM!

Martha said, "You don't have to earn those desks. These guys did it foryou. They put them out there for you, but it's up to you to sit here responsibly to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk to sit in and to learn."

Our soldiers serve their country, their families, and the untold students in our classrooms all over the USA. Thank a soldier by praying for their safety and their mission. May they come home to their families soon. God bless and have mercy upon our country and each of its citizens, you and me included...

feel a little like i've been blind sided

ok, so i get the following email today

In recent weeks we have received several emails from a few members of the sales staff with some concerns regarding demos that you conducted for them. I would like to set up a time to meet with you on the phone, hopefully this week, to go over some basic information regarding hosting demos. Could you let me know what your availability is for this week on Tuesday-Friday from 7am to 5pm? I am guessing this should only take about 30 minutes or so. Thanks, and I will talk to you soon!

this was my response

Yes I can do that...would tomorrow at 11 est work for you? I'm sorry if some are having problems with what I'm doing, I was just doing what we've been trained to do...as far as filling empty space with board doodling and such, which I don't do a ton of, at least not in my opinion. And Ali has said that he's been more than happy with my performance as I've asked because I want to make sure that I'm presenting Tutor.com the best way possible. But as far as meeting with you, just let me know if 11 tomorrow works for you...and will you call me or do you want me to call you?

i hope it wasn't underhanded or anything but i fwd her initial message to me to Ali as he is the person that is directly over me...i asked him if he'd knew what any of this was about, haven't heard back from him yet

i seriously feel like i've been kicked in the gut because i feel this is totally out of the blue since i'd heard nothing but praise up til now...oh well, we shall see what happens...