the economy

well, suffice it to say that the economy is quite iffy at the moment...and yet the bills keep coming...we were gone for a week visiting family and when we got back we had just over $500 worth of bills in the mail...which is on top of the almost $600 we're still paying off for the car repairs we've had done...AND we've got at least another $500 worth of car repairs that need to be done because like 2 days after i got the thermostat fixed and 2 new tires put on the car apparently the fuel pump went out :(
it really feels like when it rains it pours BUT we have been blessed...we finally got the medical bills paid off from when #3 was born and the subsequent visits for her arm. in this season of remembering what to be thankful for...i am more than greatful that my sweet hubby has a job, i am more than greatful that i too have way to bring in some money through my tutoring (which i'm hoping to do some irl to make a little more)...it's just really hard when you bust your butt working and it barely touches what has to be paid...for all of those that may read this that are planning on going to college or are currently in college please take the following to heart and abide by it...DO NOT TAKE OUT PRIVATE SCHOOL LOANS!!!
why you may ask...simply put, they will eat you alive...we pay more than 1/3 of our monthly income each month to just hubby's school loans...and the interest rates on them are astronomical! in our case we had no other choice because let's just face it...aviation traning cost a fortune and the gov't school loans don't even come close to covering it...not to mention that you make almost nothing once you become a pilot (are you shocked...so was i when i found out how much he'd be making...oh well, he loves his job that's what is important!) if you're doing regular college...don't touch them w/ a 20 ft pole, even if it means only being able to go part time or to take just enough credits to be full time and then work...do it...you will be greatful you did in the long run...you can never get away from a private school loan...if we had been in a different situation (or hubby had a different field of study) we would have just over $26k in school loans...instead we have almost $100k in school loans...we've been working very hard at paying them down for 3 years now and have chizzeled it away to about $80k i believe...it's so huge i honestly don't even know sometimes how much we do owe on it...i know it will be gone w/in 12 years, but it sure doesn't feel like it at times...
speaking of loans in general...have you heard of the snowball effect? if not read the book debt free on any income...it's a great resource...it's basically about paying a little extra each month on one of the loans that you want to pay off first, once you've achieved that then you take that little extra and what you used to pay on the loan you just paid off and put it twds the next loan you want to pay off and so on and so forth because you're already used to being w/o that money...we started about 2.5 years ago paying an extra $70 each month twds the highest interest loan in the group of 3 private school loans that we had...we were able to pay that loan off w/in just over a years time from starting to pay $70 extra each month compared to the scheduled 15 years...granted it was the smallest of the 3 loans, but as i said it did have the highest interest rate...more than 1/2 of the payment each month went to just interest!...since that was paid off we now pay just over $150 extra each month twds the smaller of the two remaining private loans...once we accomplish paying that off we will put all that money twds the largest one (which is beastie!) by doing this we hope to have the private school loans paid off in 10 years rather than 15 years saving us TONS of money on interest...it's amazing how much less interest we paid just by paying an extra $70 each month twds the loan (i should also note that we would put part of our tax return and i also cashed out my ira from before we were married to pay down this loan...that happened before we read the above book and started making a monthly power payment...so it was a large loan, just the smallest of the 3 private)...the gov't school loans i will admit we are just going to pay at their normal schedule simply because the interest rate is almost non-existant and it's a good loan to have on our credit report (we'll hubby's credit report) so if we are lucky enough to buy a home before we're done paying off the private school loans we will then roll all those payments over each month that we had been making to the last private school loan to our mtg and pay that down faster too...it really does make sense simply because if you do the calculations...it really is huge the amount of money you will save on interest by paying extra twds the principle (granted this is based on a legit 15,20,30 yr fixed home loan...it will work on the other types of loans, just not as well and i personally don't believe in them as i don't feel them safe options...just look at the forclosures, most are because of "fancy" home loans that were not fixed)...oh, in the book mentioned above...it comes w/ a cd-rom that you can install on your comp and plug in your debt and it will show you how much you will save, how much faster you can pay loans off, and more just by paying a power payment at the start (as i said our's originally was only an extra $70 each month...but it really can be any amount...even $5 gets you closer to paying off in)...i'm a big fan of this book...can you tell? ;-)
i don't see our economy getting better as a whole any time soon, but we each as individuals can do what we can to cut back on unnecessary spending and paying down our outstanding debts (oh, the snowball thing works for credit card debt too, forgot to mention that earlier) as with our family that really is nothing else that we can cut out unless we lower our food budget and that's basically already as low as it can go, BUT i can shop smarter...making a menu for two weeks and buying the supplies that i need...sticking to my list...price comparing, etc...i'm not the greatest at the menu thing, but i'm working on it...and if you look at my house right now you probably think we're not home because there are almost no lights on...my thermostat is set at 68 degrees...we each have to do what we can for ourselves and our families...and when we can, help others because we all need a hand once in awhile

disappointed but going to try to live by this

How Calm Applies to the Election
It's Election Day in America and I am not going to tell you how to vote, but we are going to discuss anxiety and who has power over our lives. We're in North Carolina for a series of workshops to train teachers, parents and students over the next three days-so I am going to keep this brief.

During a Q&A session at a Workshop in New York earlier this year, a Marine stood up and asked this question: "How can we expect to achieve peace in our home if my seven-year-old son cannot execute simple commands?"

I had to apologize for laughing, because I recognized those words as the son of a Colonel. But what really hit me was the implication of the father's words-he was relinquishing power over his home to a little child.

When we say, "My son is driving me crazy" or "My daughter is pushing me over the edge," who is in control? Who has power over our emotions?

When we consistently give attention to the negative, interruptive behavior of a student in class, we are giving that student power over our classroom.

When we say, "IF only my husband/wife would do x, our marriage would be better," we are placing the power for our happiness in another person's hands. That's a dangerous proposition.

When we instantly react to a daughter rolling her eyes or our son saying, "Whatever," we are giving them power over our emotions and reactions.

Later this week, we will be conducting assemblies for elementary, middle and high school students at a very progressive school in the Charlotte area. Our message to students is this: you have the opportunity to be the most powerful person in the world. When you give in to peer pressure, you are giving strangers power over your decisions. When you look to a girlfriend or boyfriend to make you happy, you are placing your fragile emotions in their hands. When you miss an opportunity to be kind to a student who is different or alone because you fear what your friends will say, you have now become a puppet. But when you control your own emotions, when you calm your own fears and anxiety so that no one can move you, then you have become the most powerful person in the world.

As parents, when we conform our family's life to what the Jones' are doing, we have given power over our family's life to society. It's time to take back control.

Let's discuss the election. We believe in being actively involved in the political process. My teenage son volunteered this past weekend, knocking on doors and helping educate neighbors about his preferred candidate. But here is some perspective for you.

When we say, "If my candidate does not win, the next four years are going to be awful," we are giving power to a politician. We are giving power over our emotions to an event outside of our control. By the end of the day, half of the country is going to be ecstatic and half will be depressed. I refuse to give power over my emotions and future to any candidate.

In fact, I urge you to make this bold declaration today: During the next four years, no matter who is President, we will grow closer as a family; we will cultivate and use our gifts and passions to help others; we will forgive and show compassion to everyone we meet; we will give more money to charity and those less fortunate than us; we will help impact more people's lives; we will empower our children to be understand themselves and be responsible for their actions; we will grow personally to be more wise, mature and calm.

No candidate, no policies, no outward circumstances can change that declaration unless we allow it. I hope that you will use this moment, this historic election day, as a defining moment to give your children and students the greatest gift you can ever give them: modeling for them an adult who is in control of their own emotions, who demonstrates calm and power over their attitudes no matter the circumstances. It is the greatest challenge you will face, but the one with the greatest reward.

Kirk Martin
Director of Education

www.CelebrateCalm.com